I need to interrupt the current series on The Pill.  Normally, when I get on a topic I am like a dog with a bone and I want to finish it but this has cropped up so much in the last week, it is worthy of a post.

We need to chat about…food.  Not just the edibleness of food, but what food represents and how personal it is in our lives.  If you really want to know the power of food, take a mixed crowd of women of all ages and bring out two trays.  On one tray is a healthy appetizer that is very good for you but maybe a 7 on the scale of 1 to 10 in flavor.  On the other tray is a not-so-good-for-you appetizer but is an 11 on the scale of 1 to 10 in flavor.  The event is a high visibility event, there are at least 50 women in the room and everybody there knows at least 2 people.

Some background for you:

The room is full of different sizes of women but not inclusive of all sizes.

Also, all types of women (athletic, moms, single, married, childless—you name it) are represented.

There is no music or anything that serves as a distraction.

The average age in the room is 36 with the age span going from 28 to 46.

There’s at least a few races represented in the room.

It’s an event for an organization-type-thing which means that there’s politics and there’s a pecking order.

The appetizers are the only food served at this event.

The trays were being brought around but everyone knew what the choices were without having to see the trays.

This is fully fictitious but I want to make it as real to you as possible.

Here are some observations for you:

• There was a ton of chatter in the room before the trays came out.
• About 30% of the women were not talking with anyone, though.
• There was noticeably less chatter in the room once the trays came out.  It wasn’t silence, but it was a loud hush.
• Three women hopped on the yummy appetizer right away and were very loud and funny about it.  Jokes were flying as they were eating.  They made at least 2 self conscious remarks but kept on eating.  They looked around the whole time without looking like they were looking around and 1 of them went back for a second one.
• An even bigger group of women, say about 8 or so, attacked the healthy appetizer.  They said nothing about it. They kept talking about whatever had their attention in the first place but never mentioned the food once.
• The majority of the women abstained from either choice…until…the “captivating women” chose what they wanted.  Then the other women in the room slowly made choices to eat.
• As soon as the trays came out, at least 70% of the room began to fidget with their clothing.  Pulling down skirts, flattening out their shirts on the bellies, buttoning jackets—if you could adjust it, then it was adjusted.
• At least half of the room suddenly learned how to scope a whole room out without moving their heads.  Their eyes developed some kind of Xray/360 degree vision where they could see through the back of their head to see who was eating what and how much.  It was eerie.  Felt like a bad M. Night Shyamalan movie.
• Those that ate more than one appetizer all had a remark.  Either about what they were wearing, how they were on a diet, how they hadn’t eaten all day.  Basically, qualifiers.
• Some stared at some women in pure, noticeable disdain for either their choice of appetizer or for the quantity they ate.
• A few women went around offering their friends an appetizer—the yummy one—while they themselves chose the healthy one afterwards.
• Those that were alone chose the yummy appetizer 2 to 1 to those who were engaged in conversation.
• By the end of the serving of the food, 80% of the room had one of each appetizer although it was varied as to who had which one first.  Thirteen percent had only the healthy appetizer with the other 7% having just the yummy appetizer.  No one could abstain from eating all night long.
• Over the course of the evening, at least 2 separate groups broke off and headed to the bathroom to talk about who chose what and why!!

On Friday I will finish this in my audio post.  I will tell you where I am going with this and why.  But just know:  food IS…  Do you recognize yourself in there anywhere or someone close to you?  I’d love to know below.  Back to the series tomorrow.  Woop woop!

WARNING:  THIS IS CONTROVERSIAL AND MAY OFFEND SOME (can’t wait–let her rip!)

Honestly, as I age I realize how much I have truly changed over the years and how differently I look at things.  I can’t even say for sure that I look at things differently as much as it’s more that I will tell you EXACTLY what I am thinking if you ask me.  Back in the day I might try to sugar coat my opinion and make you feel better about yourself even though whatever you asked me deserved an answer that should make you cry.  Back then I would buffer it.  Now, if you ask me a question that could have a less-than-pretty answer I just fire away and wait to see if you’re still standing once the smoke clears.  YIKES.

Now you might ask yourself where this is coming from and you know I am going to tell you! 

I just got back from a fitness competition that is a pretty good size.  Tons of women from all over the country vying for a top spot in a beauty/body pageant.  Sounds like a pretty standard thing…and maybe it is.  But what really is standard to me is the lack of awareness from many of the girls who either participate in the show or watch the show regarding their own personal beauty or personal fitness level.

Now before I delve into an all out rant, let me tell you who I am.  I am an almost 40, somewhat attractive, ex athlete who is more in her glory days than fitness buff right now.  I am not a foodist but I am very healthy in my approach to food choices yet at the same time can somewhat struggle with my overall relationship with food (I am a starver–not anorexic!–no ED here…just lazy about eating).  I am not down on myself in any way–I am a realist–so when I say I am a  big girl I don’t want anyone giving me a hard time about “loving myself” no matter what…yadda yadda yadda…blow it out your backside!LOL!!  In summary, I am not perfect so you’re going to wonder where I get off saying what I am about to say… so what, keep wondering while I start my rant.haha

Rant:  At some time in our lives we need to be honest about who we are and either accept it for what it is or *change* it if you do not like it.  If you are a glamour girl then run with it.  If you are not, accept it or change it if you want to be.  I am NOT a glamour girl.  I can be very put together when I need to go somewhere, but I have to work at it.  I don’t have any fashion staples in my closet nor do I own more than 4 pairs of shoes–you read that right.  And you will never find me whining as to why I was never voted prom queen of my class either…I KNOW who I AM!  But there is a new movement of women out there that is really beginning to annoy me.  These are the ones that cannot acknowledge (notice I did not say ‘accept’) that there is a pecking order in life.  I am not saying that the pecking order is right or fair, I am only saying that it is there and you need to acknowledge it if you want to get past it. 

What is a pecking order?  This is the unspoken rule about who is the prettiest in a group.  The most popular.  The one with the natural talent and grace.  You know–not you, basically.lol  She is the one that is going to win a show whether she preps for it or not.  You, on the other hand, are going to do everything right:  diet, exercise, get your hair and nails did, tan perfectly and have a decent suit and you still won’t get a look-see from the judges!  Again, am I saying this is fair?  No–but it’s reality.  Now I am not really even interested in the show aspect of what I am saying here.  I am just using this as an example.  What I am really referring to is the woman who is going to call me to the carpet as a trainer or nutritionist about something that is purely genetics–not diet or training related and act as if it is my fault.

Woman in denial (WID): “I want washboard abs.”

Trainer wishing for death (TWFD): “That takes a lot of work and dedication.”

(WID): “Well she has washboard abs and she only does cardio 3 days a week”.

(TWFD):  “She’s 20, you’re 40…big difference…and honestly, she’s probably doing a lot more than 3 days of cardio”. 

(WID):  “I read that if I did a 10 day detox diet I could start to see my abs”.

(TWFD):  thinking: where’s my rifle? but saying, “You have completely different genetics than her…”

WHY?  Why do you do it to us?  What we truly want to say is, “You will never get there.  She is gifted.  You are not. Acknowledge it (not accept–acknowledge) and move on.”  You won’t have her glutes.  You will never have her abs.  Your skin is nothing like hers.  Face it, you have other talents like being a good listener and scrapbooking–why mess with it? 

All kidding aside, I am not trying to be mean here.  Just honest.  If you think you are Halley Berry and you are really Wanda Sykes, I may have to tell you about yourself.  Please don’t make me have to do it.  Take time out of your day to find out where you are in the pecking order and either accept it or fix it.  But constantly coveting thy neighbor’s goods is not healthy nor is it productive.  Every woman has something to offer.  Be honest with yourself as to what is a true asset of yours and then highlight it.  Whatever you do, don’t ask me…because I just have to tell you about yourself!